The first time I got into a hot tub with my husband I was 17, he was 16 and it was prom night 1999. I know what you are thinking but there were no brown chickens or brown cows. In fact that night sitting on the swing in his parents backyard, Guy told me that he wouldn't sleep with me ( not that I was asking for it but I guess prom night prompted the conversation ) because he didn't want to have sex until he was married. (high five Momma Jane). We did however have a lot of fun that night....
Maybe I should start with why I was able to spend the night with my boyfriend on prom night in the first place. Back up to the week before I started high school I was 14 and my parents sat me down to talk about High School. They explained that they were proud of the young lady I was becoming and talked to me about trust and how I had been earning their trust with being honest and open with them and that they hoped that would continue but that no matter what happened I could always come to them.. NO MATTER WHAT. Its capital because that was my parents favorite phrase. "You need to call us when you get there NO MATTER WHAT" "You need to do the right thing NO MATTER WHAT everyone else is doing" "You need to be home by 9 NO MATTER WHAT" "Answer your pager when we page you NO MATTER WHAT" I literally heard it every time I left the house along with giving me a quarter to call home... you guessed it "NO MATTER WHAT" and at the end of our pre-high school talk they handed me a hand made certificate.. It had been laminated with clear tape and decorated to look like money and on it was written "one override." My parents in what now can only be described as a parenting act of genius gave me one override to their rules. Just one time in my high school career could I say Override and do what I wanted instead of following their rules.. WHAT? I knew I wanted to keep this for something good! During the next four years of high school there were a lot of times when I didn't agree with my parents decision, parties I wasn't allowed to attend, outfits overruled, curfews that were ridiculous, phone curfews even... I had to get off the phone by 9 pm!! So many times I remember being so upset, it was "SOO UNFAIR!" I would shout as I stomped up to my room.. and my dad would say well you could use your override... and suddenly I was in control, the ball was in my court, and I had to decide if that "party" was really worth it. Well to my parents horror I saved that certificate all the way to prom night, and I proudly displayed that worn certificate as I told them I would be spending the night with Guy on prom night along with about 10 other people, that his parents would be home, that there would be no alcohol, and we would be safe at his house all night. After confirming that Guy's parents were also ok with this, my parents honored that certificate. That's how I ended up in a hot tub on prom night with my boyfriend.
That first hot tub is in my now-in-laws backyard and that night in 1999 I had about 1238 bobby pins in my hair and Guy who was sitting on the side of the Hot tub offered to help me take them out. Now I was already in the hot tub and he was sitting behind me up on the ledge like a monkey picking off termites. So romantic right? After the back was pin free I turned around for Guy to get the ones out of the top front...and about that time Momma Jane (Mrs. Jane then), being the awesome hostess that she is, comes outside to offer us some refreshments. I can only imagine what she thought was going on as she came up behind Guy... and I remember the relief on her face when she realized that nothing was going on. I can laugh now, but that night I was about fifty shades of purple when I realized what we looked like. ( I could insert a message about appearances to outsiders and why we need to be above reproach but alas its not where I'm going in this blog) and that's how Guy and I's first hot tub experience went.
Now fast forward about 17 years and Guy and I have our own Hot tub in our backyard and we have grown very fond of it. Almost every night, after the kids have gone to sleep, we try to sneak in. We use that time to talk about our day : kid free, phone free, work free, TV free. It is like getting into our "time" machine and its just us once again. I treasure that time with him, time to reconnect and really talk, and plan and dream, time to be Guy and Vanessa. I encourage all of you married people to find a time to do the same, yours may not be a hot tub, it could be a porch or a couch but make it a priority to set time aside everyday for your spouse NO MATTER WHAT. "Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation"
– Oscar Wilde
There has been a lot of talk lately on the sanctity of marriage, the value placed on marriage. but do you and your spouse take time to really value it? to make it sacred? How do you and your spouse find time to reconnect? comment about it!
love you all
V
p.s. I've never actually seen the movie hot tub time machine although it does pop up on my on demand menu a lot.. but it doesn't look like my kind of movie.
p.p.s If you are thinking of stealing my parents genius parenting hack, think twice, although it worked with me I think my brother received and used his certificate in the same week... right Mike? But he was always ahead of the game!
Maybe I should start with why I was able to spend the night with my boyfriend on prom night in the first place. Back up to the week before I started high school I was 14 and my parents sat me down to talk about High School. They explained that they were proud of the young lady I was becoming and talked to me about trust and how I had been earning their trust with being honest and open with them and that they hoped that would continue but that no matter what happened I could always come to them.. NO MATTER WHAT. Its capital because that was my parents favorite phrase. "You need to call us when you get there NO MATTER WHAT" "You need to do the right thing NO MATTER WHAT everyone else is doing" "You need to be home by 9 NO MATTER WHAT" "Answer your pager when we page you NO MATTER WHAT" I literally heard it every time I left the house along with giving me a quarter to call home... you guessed it "NO MATTER WHAT" and at the end of our pre-high school talk they handed me a hand made certificate.. It had been laminated with clear tape and decorated to look like money and on it was written "one override." My parents in what now can only be described as a parenting act of genius gave me one override to their rules. Just one time in my high school career could I say Override and do what I wanted instead of following their rules.. WHAT? I knew I wanted to keep this for something good! During the next four years of high school there were a lot of times when I didn't agree with my parents decision, parties I wasn't allowed to attend, outfits overruled, curfews that were ridiculous, phone curfews even... I had to get off the phone by 9 pm!! So many times I remember being so upset, it was "SOO UNFAIR!" I would shout as I stomped up to my room.. and my dad would say well you could use your override... and suddenly I was in control, the ball was in my court, and I had to decide if that "party" was really worth it. Well to my parents horror I saved that certificate all the way to prom night, and I proudly displayed that worn certificate as I told them I would be spending the night with Guy on prom night along with about 10 other people, that his parents would be home, that there would be no alcohol, and we would be safe at his house all night. After confirming that Guy's parents were also ok with this, my parents honored that certificate. That's how I ended up in a hot tub on prom night with my boyfriend.
That first hot tub is in my now-in-laws backyard and that night in 1999 I had about 1238 bobby pins in my hair and Guy who was sitting on the side of the Hot tub offered to help me take them out. Now I was already in the hot tub and he was sitting behind me up on the ledge like a monkey picking off termites. So romantic right? After the back was pin free I turned around for Guy to get the ones out of the top front...and about that time Momma Jane (Mrs. Jane then), being the awesome hostess that she is, comes outside to offer us some refreshments. I can only imagine what she thought was going on as she came up behind Guy... and I remember the relief on her face when she realized that nothing was going on. I can laugh now, but that night I was about fifty shades of purple when I realized what we looked like. ( I could insert a message about appearances to outsiders and why we need to be above reproach but alas its not where I'm going in this blog) and that's how Guy and I's first hot tub experience went.
Now fast forward about 17 years and Guy and I have our own Hot tub in our backyard and we have grown very fond of it. Almost every night, after the kids have gone to sleep, we try to sneak in. We use that time to talk about our day : kid free, phone free, work free, TV free. It is like getting into our "time" machine and its just us once again. I treasure that time with him, time to reconnect and really talk, and plan and dream, time to be Guy and Vanessa. I encourage all of you married people to find a time to do the same, yours may not be a hot tub, it could be a porch or a couch but make it a priority to set time aside everyday for your spouse NO MATTER WHAT. "Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation"
– Oscar Wilde
There has been a lot of talk lately on the sanctity of marriage, the value placed on marriage. but do you and your spouse take time to really value it? to make it sacred? How do you and your spouse find time to reconnect? comment about it!
love you all
V
p.s. I've never actually seen the movie hot tub time machine although it does pop up on my on demand menu a lot.. but it doesn't look like my kind of movie.
p.p.s If you are thinking of stealing my parents genius parenting hack, think twice, although it worked with me I think my brother received and used his certificate in the same week... right Mike? But he was always ahead of the game!
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